Am I really 28 years old today?

At 6:10 a.m., I wake up to a "Happy Birthday" song in bed. Sean comes into the bedroom with my favorite cake -Betty Crocker chocolate cake with layers of chocolate and coconut frosting. I am surprised because I don't hear Sean sing very often. I am still half asleep as I pretend to blow out candles in the end of the song - Sean realized that we didn't have any candles to put on the cake late last night and wanted to run to a store to get some but I forced him to go to bed because he planned to go to a cycling class at the gym at 4:45 a.m - But it's okay, it's the thought that counts. Sean asks me if I want a piece of cake and I say no. I'm not really a breakfast person and I am still so, so sleepy.

Wow, so it's been exactly 28 years since I saw the bright light of this world for the first time. I used to only think about myself on my birthdays. It's my day and everything should be centered around me, right? But as I get older - or it may be because I'm so far away from home... or maybe because I'm a mom myself - I have been thinking a lot about my MOM.

MOM -Umma in Korean- There is something about that word, don't you think? I think you appreciate your mom more and more as you get older. Whenever I am around Sean's family during holidays, I think about my mom and the things that we used to do together. My mom has always been proud of me - although I am not so sure if I have always been a daughter that she can be proud of but I try. When I was a teenager, I was sad because I thought she was the most miserable person on earth. And I always thought that it was my fault that she was misrable, sad, and unhappy. Well, time went on and we moved on. When I went and saw her with Sean and Matthew last year, she seemed to be doing whole lot better - She was no longer the miserable, sad, unhappy person I remembered. She laughed and joked around with her son-in-law whom she had never met in person before. I got her to laugh with her mouth open, her teeth showing - This was one of my biggest accomplishments in life. Now I have many pictures of mom smiling, proudly showing her beautiful teeth, not so self-conscious about the way she looks when she smiles. I was delighted that Sean and Matthew got along with her so well. Matthew never fussed with my mom. My mom would put him on her back and wrap him up and go outside for a long walk. One day, they were out looking at beautiful flowers for an hour or so and I was never worried because I knew mom was taking good care of Matthew. I just wish that I lived closer to her so she and Matt can bond more. I try not to think too much about mom because it makes me homesick. But I know distance makes our hearts grow fonder - It is true for mom and me. I think we are closer than ever because we have been far apart for a while, now we appreciate the time we are together even more because of it - although I wish we could see each other way more often!

So I thank mom for going through all the pain to give birth to me. I wasn't born in the best situation. - It was a stormy winter day. It had snowed up to your knees. There were no cars on the road. Mom couldn't make it to the hospital. Dad was on duty in military 2 miles away. He walked through the pile of snow for two hours and arrived at home just in time to deliver me. Mom was only 18 years old when she gave birth to me. - But my parents always say I am a blessing to them. Well, but I should say they are a blessing to me.

Happy birthday to me. I am grateful for you, mom and dad, for being there for me all the time. I love you and miss you very much.

엄마 아빠 사랑해요!!